a litte about my past....

so i have realized oters do read this or i like to think they do..

so here is a more of a highlight on my life up to where i am today but, before i start i want the reads to know that i have made choices in my life i am sad or even hate knowing or stepping up to  that i have made..

 

my mom and dad was end thier own marriage as i was be welcomed in to this world, i cant even tell you the last time my mother and father hugged or kissed .. heck i dont think they even smile at eac now. i recall the weekend meets with one or the other . but most the time i recall liveing with my wouldful grandmother. shes has always and still is my go to person i know she will always hold me and tell its ok even when we both know its not. anyways my mom is on her 4th huddy , i have only ever meet 3 of the 4 , i was for her 2nd huddy   my dad is on his 4th as well i was form his 1st wife.i do have a 1/2 brother with my mom side  he and i are not close even though he lives less then 5 mins. away .. and i have a step sister on my dads side not close to her or her mother . i turely act like i like them just for my dad. my dad once was married to a laddy for most of my childhood she saw how my dad did me , he put me last  and she is still more in my life then my dad she know that i am with child right now and he dont . i once was what they call a daddys girl  i was right there with him or so i liked to think so .once he married and i had a step sister he seamed to do more for her then me ,  and when i talked to him about it he says he was buying her the things or makeing happen, but i didnt have much to show for. and i thing when ever man and lady or man and man or lady and lady... they take care of eachother and whatever childern the have coming in to the life they want for them selfs .   my mother is the same . whene even my lil brother and i would got over for the weekends we stay in a room or outside and was told step dad didnt like kids . or something .. but now that i am grown i see that my momwas sared to lose him and hrut him or make him mad...THATS NOT MARRIAGE NOR LOVE!!!!!! i am glad i dont see life or love like that . my grandfather (rip) and grandmother  didnt sleep in the same bed but he always called her honey , she always kissed him good night , they where in love and happy you could tell. i am lucky i had them . my grandfather (rip) is and was my hero i hated that he didnt get to meet my babies but then again i bet he helpped make them . i would love to hug him one last time.

now once my dad was married to my step mother i was told i had to live there in her house with her and her kid.. i didnt want to .. i was maybe 14 or 15 ...15 i meet my sons dad 16 i go tmmy car and my 1st job  so i would go to school(8am) gwt out of school(330 pm)  work at (4pm) till close(10pm) but i didnt get off at closing i had to clean up at work so (1130 pm ) drive home( !1145)  and when ever i got home no one was up waiton me to get home not dinner was saved for me but if it was my week to wash the dishes i had to .  i would take care of me . shower homework and eat ..sometimes so by the time i got done with what i had to do (2-3 am) i dont know when i got rest. but i would wash my own landry  i would get in trouble for it like really my kids did that i would be dancing around lol anyway i was 17 when i found out i was going to be a mother . that day is a story on it on my grandmother was my head i got to hold. but my grandmother told my dad not me  that night he would ask me if there was anything worng or if i need to tell him anything and i would say i would just say i am fine or no nothing  he told he knows  and he and my step mother and my sons dad  sat down a few days later and i was told that i had a week or two to be out that i couldnt raise my kid there  the next day i was gone everything packed and i was gone,  i undertsand him being mad but to kick me out  and to make my drop school , he signed me out of school i went and the teacher told me i wasnt a stundent there any more. 

have you ever wanted to go back just to try to fix the bad in your life?

i was 17 years old drop out and i had to live with my sons dad sister  now that i have kids how the hell do you toss your kids out on they asses????

after i had my son my son dads sister had became my best friend and she took care of me  and she took care of me and hlepped me up in till this year. 

i was what in love with my sons father  to the point of staying when he cheated  each time he hit me each time i found myself saying sorry for his miss ups . i dont think in will ever forgive him he did make me stornger but helpped me find reason to lock others out even though i got the shit end of the deal for loving him i got my son hes due to be 6 in oct  hes so big and i wish his dad had more to do with him hes to busy dating diffenert girls . i will always care for my sons dad but i will nver love him again.. when i meet my huddy i was still liveing with my sons fafther and he and i was still in a bed together  i was talking to my huddy ate the time and laving in a bed with him , so when ever i found myself with child i didnt know hows to tell my huddy now so i told him i was with child and it was my son fathers child  he didnt leave me  but my sons father moved out and in with a lady  i had a dna test done when she was 4 months old and myhuddy was dating a girl i was dating a guy and my sons father was out doing whatever , i was so happy to find out my huddy and her had the same dna , my sons father had hit me lied to me made me homeless . and now i am happy and in love with a man that loves me and didtngive up on me as soon as he found we had a child together he left her for me and as on today we have been married for 4 mothns have lived together for 7 . and we are going to have a baby !!  my life has been flipped  i have made this best of the bad to didnt slow down and it got me here...

 

i am one lucky lady !

 

RIP

my grandfather

J.L.S

cancer took him from this place

i cant wait to see him again

 

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (2)

  1. bluevader

    I am very happy for you. It sounds like you have finally met someone you can rely on

    June 25, 2015
  2. withish54

    A little has been produced about my past to highlight the problems and difficulties of my life. Most of the problems of my past have been used as the motivation for the bid 4 papers in future times for the individuals and humans for better life.

    March 31, 2017