why were they not in my life more?
why did i come last when you were dating someone?
why did my grandmother raise me ?
why did you help me when i became pregant ?
why didnt you try to help me stay in school?
why are you not are in my kids lifes?
why did my step sister get the upper hand?
how to you mix me up with my ex step mother?
why did you always take everyones word over mine and still do to this day?
why did you make me pick my unborn child over you ?
why have you not called me in two years?
why am i so scread to dispoint you still?
you may never know this but My son saved my life. the one you wanted me to send back.
after i started at my 1st job and had my DL and car. i would stay gone all night and come home just to take a nap and go again .. school.. work..hide.. i realized i wasnt though about when dinner wasnt saved for me, but yet i have to wash dishes every other week when i never used them. i had a cell phone i paied for you would let me have one. we had wifi but i couldnt use it so i got my own . on the days i was off i would lie and say i had to work but i didnt andgo to my grandmothers or boyfirends . you never checked on me . i got yelled at for washing my own landry just beacuse i didnt was anyones but mine.
no one called.no one saved me dinner,no one asked if i had homework, no one asked if i need anything,no one wait up for me to get home from work, NO ONE WAS AROUND..
i had a boyfirend at the time and he had no idea that i was unhappy with my life after work he would meet me each night he would drive from texarkana ..Linden.. just to see me and ask me about my day .. he was all i had and i didnt tell himi didnt want to lose that too..
school life was hell , people were being paied cash to hit me call me names .. jump me or try to .. it was bad to the point teacher walked me to class ...all beauces i was a dumb girl the cheat on a dumb boy.
my grandfather the only man that never mad me cry the only man i wish could meet my kids and husband now .. he passed away inthe middle of this all and i could handle it. the one man that i would kill to hug one more time..
i hated life .
when i need my dad the most he was off with my step mother or step sister going out to eat. malls whatever.
my step sister had namebrand stuff ..i have walmart stuff, i would only get stuff when i 110% needed it .. i stopped asking then too..
i down right gave up ..everything was falling apart..
i found i was going to be a mom andonce i told the father of my child he told to send it back.. and told after i had the child and before that he was only tring to make it work for the baby he want to end stuff with me but i had no one and nothing and he could do that to me..
MY CHILD SAVED MY LIFE.
the life i wanted to end. i wanted to end it the day he got that fucking turck..( personal thing)