its ok to wounder what if right?

i find myself asking myself  "what if this " or "what if that"   i wouldnt chang my life  and what i have  yes i want better.b ut i cant help to wounder what my life would be like or if i am doing it all right ..

 i  wounder what my life would be like if i never told him she was his.. where would i be in life? i know i would be a mother of 2 and not 4  (that though kills me) i wounder what would my life be like if  that DNA test never happend..i wounder what my life would be like if he and i neverend and he would  have seen her be born  and her 1st smile... what i  never got pregant the 1st time .. would i have gone to college ?  what id had the three babies i lost  i would have 7 kids  what if i would have date and had a life with that one person ? what if i still lived with my best friend?  would i have every got the best friend i have if i would have never meet baby daddy #1..

we all ask what to something at some point  i love my life my 4 kiddos. my husband . i even am glad of my my passed  only because it has made me whom i am now.. 

the only thing i wish i would have NEVER done was get my tubes tied , i know i can un do it but its hard to have a baby after it and i dont wat to cut my body anymore like that .. 





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Comments (2)

  1. wonderwall79

    What if, yes been here too sadly and I ain’t got much answers just that no matter what has happened it has shaped who and what I’ve become and no matter what life throws it won’t take my values it won’t break my core or my cowboy creed and that alone makes me a pillar in my own world
    I understand tho what you mean I ask what if a lot too and what I’ve come up with is……. We have to know and dissect where we came from in order to navigate where we are going.!!!

    May 02, 2017
  2. roe
    If I’ve learned anything it is…Everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to and most of the time we don’t understand until way after the fact

    July 08, 2017