lost for words

this past two week has made my heart hurt, i want to help but i dont know how to help without being to much...

i found out my little brother(20) whom is due to havehi 1 child in dec.he pulled my mom out of her car and pined her up against the caryelling at her then after letting her go he held a knife to this throat. he dont know i know about this. i am not sure what to say to him.

then  i found i beautiful young lady thats still in high school (a freashman) has been having thoughs of taking her own life and she asked for help and is getting help for it.  

nov 6 was someone that once was my unlce by marriege( i dont want to use his name) .. he would have had his 43th birthday on aug 23  2014 he took his life leaving behine a son his sister was once my step mother  he was on of a kinda man and was a good father to this son .

a year ago my little brother had a friend that took his own life in his car on the highway he was 20ish  and after finding he walked into his other trying to  take his life but with a help of a cop saved him .

 my husband had a friend he grown up with go missing and the found , he took his own life  he left behind a son 25ish


my eyes fulled up with tears 


it dont matter how old you are or why you have the thoughs of taking your life,

you CAN get help . you CAN talk to someone . you CAN make a better life in time. You SHOULDNT blame yourself . you ARE loved by someone.


this stuff worrys me with me being a mom of 4 childern  i need to learn the signs of suicidal thoughts


 i was 17 when i had themand it wasnt even beacuse of being bully it was my home life new step momand new step sistermy dad was all for them and not me i would even get away will staying out at 3 am beacuse no one every waitied up for me when i was to be home after work, i had a cell phone they didnt know about. i was seeing my boyfriend each night after work , notonly did they not wait up tp make sure i got home on a scchool night from work they never left me dinner but i was to wash dish . i recall even get yelled at for wash my own landry .as a mom i wish my kids could lol. i never ate at home i would lie to got outof that house before i had a job each weekend i would go stay with my grandmother inthe next town over.. when i was 17  i found out 5 months before i turned 18 i was going to get to be a mom, so i promised  my child i would live for him and now i am 25 with a amaing hudsband and step child and 3 child god let me bring into this world. My sondont know this but he saved my life


my borther dont know the joys of being a father  he is being told the hard parts and the money parts. i want him to see his babies 1st steps her her say dada and watch her go to college.

the young lady may end up growning into a very smart owner of the best daycares in this world { she really good younger kids} have a family that she proud of . thats keep her beautful smile shining.

but if they make the choice to end their lifes all they will leave are memories . 

i pray they are at my funeral.

if you are think about ending your life for whatever reason you loved by someone , one day you may become a mother or a father .. your dreams my come ture, you are loved by someone .. just beacuse you cant see it or fell it dont]mean its not really   you are always welcome to talk to me .. something talk to someoneyou dont know and will never meet can help alot .. blog helps me  give it a shot..

unspoken prays for eveyone that has the though of ending thier own lifes.



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Comments (1)

  1. adamonslow

    Words are too much important in anyone life because just few words are creating a new relation or just few words are loses any relation. If you said good words then dissertation to buy easily so now realize that words are important.

    May 25, 2017